Try having a Native American name instead of a Christian name! Is ‘White’ your first name and ‘Feather’ your last name? And what is your middle name? What do you mean ‘White Feather’ is your full name? What is first and what is second and what is in the middle? That is how I am forced to fill out this goddam form! So what’s your first name?

I don’t have a first name. I don’t have a last name. And I don’t have a middle name. My name is White Feather.

Is that one name or two?

It’s just one name.

Sorry, but I have no way of entering just one name. I need a first name and a last name — and preferably at least an initial in the middle. That is the only way the computer will let me enter this information.

It’s one of those times when you expect armed guards to appear at any time.