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The Dreaded Holiday Visit
Clearing the family cache
Christine and her husband Steven were not enjoying the drive to Christine’s parents’ house for the holidays — or at least Christine wasn’t. She dreaded going home at Christmas or Thanksgiving or anytime. Steven didn’t know what to expect so he was good. Christine had not been home in six years but agreed to come so that her parents could meet her new husband.
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you make it out to be,” said Steven just before he popped some chocolate in his mouth.
“Oh, believe me it is. My parents never change. They still see me as though I’m a kid. I’m 35 freaking years old and a successful businesswoman but they still treat me like I’m 15. They refuse to see the person I am now. It’s like their brains are stuck.”
“Yeah, that’s actually rather typical. The human brain is a lot like a computer. We all have a built-in cache like internet browsers have. When we are around the same people constantly we develop default images of them. For the sake of speed and efficiency our computer brains bring up those default images when we come into contact with them rather than stopping, clearing the mind, and looking at them in their present state. It’s easier, takes less energy and attention and it usually has become habitual. We can’t do that with someone we just met so we have to…
