The Art of Avocados

Did you know that actor Tom Selleck owns an avocado ranch (or farm or whatever)? He has publicly stated that he can’t stand eating avocados and never does. But he owns a lot of avocado trees and profits from growing them and selling them.

Personally, I don’t own a single avocado tree (they don’t grow where I live). But I spend an inordinate amount of money buying avocados at the supermarket. I am a certifiable avocado freak. Seriously, I don’t think I am capable of going a week without eating an avocado.

(Did you know that an avocado has almost two and a half times as much potassium as a banana?)

For many years of my life I had a goal of being able to peel the skin off an avocado in one piece. I had tried perhaps tens of thousands of times but I never managed to do so.

But I kept trying! And trying. I even watched YouTube videos on how to do it but I never could…

That is, until last year. I remember it was in August but I don’t remember the day. I remember it was a very hot day but I’m sure that had nothing to do with my supreme accomplishment. I seriously jumped up and down with glee as I peeled the skin off an avocado in one piece for the first time in my life.

I tossed the peeling into my compost bucket and stared at the naked fruit on my plate. It was an object of sublime beauty. I felt like a sculptor after finishing a sculpture. I felt like Picasso after finishing a painting. I felt like a lover upon seeing the object of their affection naked for the first time. I had to wait and take it all in before I could eat the divine fruit.

When I finally ate it I used no utensil. I ate it strictly with my hands and mouth and when I was done I spit out the pit.

Take that, Tom Selleck!