Since you asked I’ll go ahead and respond.

First I should say that I was scrolling down my feed and came across a post by Aura Wilming and was about to click on it when I noticed at the very bottom of my screen was a post by you. I immediately got excited because you are one of my top 5 favorite writers on Medium. But Aura’s post was above yours so I clicked on it planning on getting back to your article when I was finished with Aura.

So I read Aura’s post and responded to it then I went back to my feed. I scrolled down and came to Aura’s post but your post was no longer just below it. I kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and your article was nowhere to be found. That was infuriating.

So I clicked on the search function and typed in your name. And guess what? Your name didn’t show up! WTH? So I clicked on my profile and then clicked on the list of users that I follow. I found you and clicked on you and finally found your new article.

The act of deleting can screw things up perhaps.

Anyway, I must say that I can totally understand your situation. I thoroughly empathize. But my situation is different.

Not a single human to whom I am biologically related to will ever search for or read anything that I write on the internet. I am very lucky. Not even my daughter who loves me dearly will ever read anything that I write. She has never read any of the dozen or so books that I’ve written and published. If I were foolish enough to bring up my writing in a conversation with her she suddenly has to pee or something and quickly leaves the room. It’s something she vehemently refuses to talk about.

Am I lucky, or what?

It’s the same with all my real-physical-life friends. They will all happily have in-depth conversations with me but only if I never bring up my writing. They all suddenly have to pee or go mow the lawn if I were to foolishly bring up the subject of my writing. My ex-wife reacts this way, too. I have friends I’ve known for 50 years who simply refuse to engage in any conversation concerning my writing.

Like I said, am I lucky, or what?

Decades ago it used to bother me but now it doesn’t. I simply never bring up my writing with anyone I know in the physical 3-D world. If I did I wouldn’t have any friends (and I don’t have many to begin with).

So when I sit down at my desk and place my fingers above my laptop keyboard I am free; free as the birds fly. I know that no one I know will ever read it. But it is not out of concern of what my friends might think that gives me that freedom. It’s the freedom of not thinking about what my friends might think.

That is the thorn in the lion’s paw. The very second you think about what some reader (no matter who) might think about your writing is the very second you fail as a writer. The very second you change your writing in any way to accommodate what you think a reader might be thinking is the very second you cease to be a “true” writer.

Don’t do it. Don’t change a thing. I read you because you’re one of the few “true” writers on Medium.

And, by the way, “fiction” and “non-fiction” are not real things. They are simply terms that bookstore owners made up as a way to organize their inventories. Don’t ever label your writing. Don’t ever judge it. And don’t ever question it. Be as unconditional with your writing as you are with the loved ones you are closest to.

You may never be as lucky as me and have no friends or families (or potential mates or employers) who read your writing but I have a feeling you can be a whole lot stronger than me if I were in your situation.

Vulnerability can be a wonderful thing. By giving in to it we can find the door leading out of it. And we can learn so much in the process. Self-doubt can even be beneficial. Deleting, though, usually creates problems.

Forget anonymity and by all means forget journalism. (Forgetting Facebook could be helpful, too.) Just continue being real.

Please.