My signature clap, as some know, is 50. I keep my finger down on the clap button until the little black ball reads 50. Then I stop. Then, I go back to the story and see that my clapping only came out as 47, 48, or 49 even though the stupid black ball read 50. I’ve noticed that happening a lot lately. Seriously, that is not my intention. I don’t want anyone to think that I hated their story or response just because my claps read anything less than 50 — which is what my readers have come to expect. Several times lately I have gone back and added the additional claps to get it up to 50.
I don’t know what the hell is going on. Is it Medium? Is it my eight-year-old laptop? Is it my stupid finger? Seriously, I don’t mean to give anyone the finger by clapping less than 50. Except in some series of responses where everyone claps only 5 times, I usually clap 50 times or zero times. Everything in between is a judgment and I really try hard not to be judgmental. I’m starting to suspect that I might have a neurological problem with some of my fingers. Just the other day I found myself typing double commas. I was overcome with fear that the local Medium grammar police would handcuff me (and believe me they’ve tried).
Lately, sometimes I click on that clap button and hold it down. It goes up to 1 and stops. I release it and then click back down on it and it goes up to 4 and stops. Sometimes it takes up to 3 minutes to get it to go up to 50. I swear I will click like a maniac and when that’s not enough I will use the hammer I keep on my desk and it’s still really hard to get it to go all the way up to 50. I’m beginning to think that it might be a problem with my eight-year-old laptop.
But I want everyone to know that if my clap total to your story or response only came out to 47 or 49 it’s not my fault. And I don’t mean anything by it. It’s not me. It’s either my stupid laptop or my stupid finger or…
or maybe it’s Medium….
Who knows for sure? Just know that I mean 50 or nothing. Seriously, why do we bother with anything in-between?
