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Listening Without Thinking
A deeper relationship
“He never listens!” Or: “She never listens!”
Have you ever said that about your partner? Has your partner ever said that about you? Do you know people in relationships who say that a lot? Did either of your parents ever say that?
I think most people would agree that listening is a very important part of any relationship. I wholeheartedly agree. But I also think that a lot of the problems and dysfunction in relationships stem from not knowing the real way to listen.
The problem is that many people think while they listen. The other person is talking and your ears are taking in what they say but at the same time you are thinking. You are either judging what the other person is saying or you are formulating your response or you are thinking about next Tuesday’s book club meeting. Your noggin is actively engaged in some mental process.
This blocks true listening. There are more levels to listening than just the taking in of audio through your ears. To discover these other levels it is necessary to stop thinking. Most communication between partners takes place between the two people’s minds. It is a mental thing. Emotions are also present because emotions and thinking are inextricably linked.
