King of the Hill

A Capitalist playground story

Construction on the new wing of classrooms at Angus Frederick Wellinghizer Elementary School began during summer vacation. During the initial excavation a large pile of dirt was dumped temporarily on the playground. The dirt pile was approximately twelve feet tall; not exactly a mountain but to small elementary school kids it was a really big hill.

After classes resumed following summer vacation the big pile of dirt was still there. To the befuddlement of the faculty, during recess the kids did not swing on the swings, slide down the slides, hang upside down from the monkey bars, or play sports. All the kids instead gravitated towards and played with the big pile of dirt.

How does one play with a big pile of dirt? Well, there are actually countless ways but what proved to be the most popular game among the youngsters was King of the Hill. In case you have never heard of this game it involves a race to the top of the hill. The first kid to the top is proclaimed King of the Hill. And that is when the game starts getting alarmingly competitive.

You see, the object for all the other kids is to make it to the top and push the King down the hill, thus deposing the old King and becoming the new King. So once a kid made it to the top and became King they had to defend themselves against all the…