I tend to get in trouble when I offer my opinion but I am going to daringly stick my foot in. Being male I probably shouldn’t say anything. But here goes…

First of all, how is wearing a wedding ring any different than verbally proclaiming one’s marital status? The only difference is in the lack of verbiage. A wedding ring is like wearing a sign that says, “I’m married. I’m taken. Back off.” Insisting your spouse wear a wedding ring is like a sign of your ownership over them, like a brand on livestock. “They’re taken. They’re mine. Back off.”

I happen to be incapable of wearing rings. I simply cannot have any metal on my body. It royally screws with my electromagnetic field. I tried to wear a wedding ring the first of the 20 years I was married but it didn’t work. The rings would break or melt and my ring finger would turn strange colors and I would occasionally lose my balance or get nauseous from the disturbance to my bio-field. We went through 3 different rings that first year, one gold and two silver, and they all either broke or melted within a few months.

Instead of buying a new wedding ring every few months I just gave up and for the last 19 years of my marriage I never wore a wedding ring. My spouse always wore hers.

I also never mentioned in conversation that I was married. Why would I do that? Our friends and associates all knew we were married and strangers didn’t need to know my marital status. That’s personal.

But I was also an extremely faithful husband. Disturbingly so. I probably exuded that faithfulness and there was no need for a ring or a sign or for me to bring it up. I never hit on women and women never hit on me. Occasionally a man would hit on me and then I would immediately mention my marital status but that was the only time I felt inclined to do so.

I also never referred to her as ‘my wife.’ That’s rude. She is her own person, not something that belongs to me. I only referred to her by name. And I rarely ever talked about her with strangers. That’s a violation of her privacy.

Back then most of my friends were female. A had a lot of female friends, some of whom didn’t even realize for months that I was married. But none of them ever hit on me. I was not emitting pheromones of invitation.

I know my spouse was not happy with the fact that I never wore a wedding ring but she also knew of my bizarre condition. And she also knew that I would always be faithful. At times she may have been uneasy about all the female friends that I had. That’s not normal for a guy. She referred to them as “your women” but they were not my women, they were my friends. She realized that nothing was going to happen and she ended up being friends with many of them.

Anyhoo, I have to point out that men do in fact feel it necessary to point out their marital status to other men. I find it really annoying but married men really do have the need to point out their marital status to all women and all men; to everyone. It’s really bizarre and I don’t understand it. Men are so disgusting.

By the way, divorced men also have a need to bring up their divorced status in conversation with anyone. That, too, is annoying. Men just can’t seem to be themselves without a big neon sign flashing their relationship status. That is not who they are and if they think that is who they are they need to find out who they really are.

Please excuse my little rant. Men probably aren’t as disgusting as they seem.

Earthling — Lifelong novelist & essayist — https://whitefeather.substack.com/

Earthling — Lifelong novelist & essayist — https://whitefeather.substack.com/