I should have been tipped off that it was a fiction/humor piece when you said that you had to watch a video to learn how to fold fitted sheets. But I wasn't and as I kept reading I was half expecting you to announce that you were going to give up the internet and scrap Grab a Slice. That would have been horrible.

I once experienced extreme minimalism for a couple of years back in the 1980s. It was one of the happiest times of my life. I've written about it before so I won't go on about it but to summarize I lived in a tiny empty apartment for which I never had the electricity turned on. I had no furniture, nothing on the walls, no air conditioning, no working refrigerator, and all my possessions could fit into the trunk of a car--but I did not own a car.

The internet wasn't a thing yet back then so I had no internet access bills, no electric bills, no cable bills. The one and only monthly bill I had was the rent. It seemed like I always had plenty of money then. I slept on the floor--and occasionally made love on the floor. It was awesome.

I keep thinking that I would be a lot happier if I could return to a life like that. So lately I've been trying to de-clutter. But some bills have become addictions. (Like being on the internet.) I've been desperately trying to sell my books but I have had no success. It seems that people just don't read books anymore.

The closest laundromat is 11 blocks away so I need to keep enough clothes so that I don't have to do laundry more than once a month. (I do a lot of laundry in my kitchen sink.)

Then there are all the houseplants. I need to get rid of them but I need the oxygen they provide.

I keep thinking how wonderful it would be to live in a cave. But then I would have to start writing on a manual typewriter again. I just don't think I am capable of doing that again. Know what I mean?

So I've been doing a lot of thought experiments, too. I'm searching for just the right fiction I can turn into a reality with a happy ending. It has been proving to be quite difficult. I doubt I'll find that story on YouTube.