Fake Weather

Your forecast for today and every day

Good day! Today the weather is going to be utterly magnificent! It could not possibly be any more perfect. Today’s high will be around 74 degrees Fahrenheit and the low will be around 67 degrees.

Although there may be a random, itty-bitty cloud or two, it will be a very sunny day. In fact it’s going to be so sunny that you might be inspired to get in your gas-fueled sports car and go for a long drive in the country.

While there may be an occasional very slight breeze, there will be no strong winds today so there will be no need to wear a hat in order to hold your hair down.

Back in the olden days today would be described as a perfect day for gardening. But seriously, who does that anymore? Why garden when all you have to do is sit down on your couch, pull out your smart phone, and order whatever you want delivered to your door. That is strenuous enough having to get up from the couch to answer the door.

Yes, today it is going to seem like paradise. So put your jackets and coats and snow boots away and get out your flip-flops and shorts.

And speaking of shorts, be a man! Wear those shorts every single day of the year no matter where you live or what the weather is like. Show the world how macho you are!