Coffee Schmoffee
They call me, ‘Weirdo’
I’ve been called, ‘Weirdo,’ countless times throughout my life. It was one of my nicknames as a child. It doesn’t bother me when I’m called that. Often it makes me smile. After all, I consider being normal to be a fate worse than death.
So as I peruse Medium today I see countless stories about International Coffee Day, which I have learned is tomorrow. The Scene & Heard is even having a contest for coffee-related art and writing. Sadly, it’s just not for me.
Why? Because I don’t drink coffee. Unlike almost every adult human, I am not a coffee drinker. I’m a weirdo.
I quit drinking coffee in the second half of the 1990s. I don’t remember exactly when it was. But it has been roughly 20 years since I was a coffee drinker.
Mind you, I still drink one or two or three cups of coffee a year. I love the smell of coffee and I love the taste — at least the first few sips. Sometimes, when I’m in a place filled with the smell of coffee I just have to have some so I order a cup. Those first few sips are so delicious. Yum. But by the time I’m halfway through the cup of coffee it stops tasting delicious and I start feeling the effects of it. I feel my blood pressure rising and my stomach starts feeling like I just poured battery acid into it. And my mouth goes on bitter alert. I rarely am able to finish a cup and it’s usually many months before I drink it again.
It’s hard to believe that I used to drink many cups of coffee every day (just like most people). How did I do it?
I can almost hear someone asking, “So if you don’t drink coffee in the morning, what do you drink?”
Well, I don’t drink tea. I very rarely drink tea. I drink it about as often as I drink coffee. No, I start each and every morning with 2 to 4 tall glasses of cold lemon water. After 20 years of drinking lemon water each and every morning I can now say that I am addicted to it. I panic if I run out of lemons.
I guess my body adjusted to my switching of addictions. Bodies will do that.
So during this weekend of coffee celebrations I guess I’m just the odd man out. I have no coffee stories to tell, no coffee artwork to share. It’s just not my weekend.
Okay, now I’m wondering if there is an International Lemon Day. I suppose I could google it but I won’t do that. What if I find out that there really is a lemon day? What if I find out that there are millions of lemon water drinkers in the world?
Then I might find out that I’m not such a weirdo after all. We can’t have that!
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
Although I don’t drink coffee, I did recently write a short story that revolved around a coffee mug:
