A Friend Unplugged
And trying to imagine doing it myself
A friend that I’ve known for around thirty years called me up yesterday. I was eagerly anticipating her call because she has been offline for weeks due to very serious computer problems. It was frustrating knowing that I could not simply shoot off an email to her. We really don’t even communicate much via the internet. We mostly just talk via telephone. But it was frustrating being limited to that. I was hoping that she was calling with good news, saying that her computer problems had been resolved and she was back online.
Unfortunately, she had no good news. Three different tech geeks had come out to her home and none of them were able to solve her problems. Unlike her recent calls, however, she did not seem very frantic about it. In light of her situation she seemed oddly happy.
I should point out that my friend is in her seventies and is not exactly tech savvy despite having been on the internet even longer than I have.
I asked, “Do you know anyone else who can come out to help?” (I had tried helping over the phone but there is only so much that can be done over the phone.)
“My sister knows this guy. He was supposed to have come out last weekend but I’m still waiting for him to show up. But you know what? If he never shows up I’m okay with that. I’m seriously considering unplugging and doing without the internet.”
“No, no, no! You can’t do that!”
“White Feather, I’ve been on the internet for over 25 years and the last 3 weeks without internet is the longest I’ve ever gone without it. Do you know what it’s been like for me these last 3 weeks?”
Pause.
“I’ll tell you. I’ve been like a heroin junkie who has been forcibly denied any heroin. I’ve been going through withdrawal. I’m frustrated as hell. I’ve been pulling my hair out. It’s worse than when I quit smoking! I’m retired and I live alone with my cats and my computer is on all day long. I get up from the computer to go to the bathroom or fix myself something to eat or to feed the cats or go out and fill the birdfeeders. Once a week I go shopping. The rest of the time I’m on the damn internet. I had no idea how addicted I was until suddenly I no longer had my computer and the internet. I realized that I was a junkie.”
“Oh my.”
“Well, I’m finally getting through the withdrawal. I’m slowly getting my sanity back. I’m much calmer now. Yesterday we finally had some decent weather and I went on a long walk. For me, a really long walk. And you know what I realized? I realized that I have been living in a fake reality. I had become disconnected from the real world. Now, instead of sitting on my ass in front of the computer all day I’m actually doing things. And I’m going outside more. And I swear I’m actually getting happier. I thought I was happy before but now I think I was really just content. Now that I’m in the real world 24 hours a day I’m experiencing a much deeper, exciting happiness.”
“If that guy never shows up to fix my computer situation I think that will be perfectly okay. I no longer care. I’ll just go ahead and unplug. And I’ll cancel my internet service. That’ll save me almost a hundred bucks a month. What a rip-off that is. My Social Security check will go a lot further without that monthly expense. Seriously, I am really thinking about unplugging.”
At first, this sounded horrible to me. I wanted to urge her to hang in there a little longer, that surely she could find someone to fix her problems and that she would be back online soon. But I couldn’t say any of that. If I had I would have felt like a heroin dealer promising to bring her some more heroin.
Instead I marveled at her epiphanies. I rejoiced in the joy in her voice. And I just wanted to support her life changes.
Since that phone call I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her and what she said. She threw me into a state of introspection. I’ve been wondering if I, too, am a junkie.
Unlike most young people I happen to be old enough to remember a time before the internet when everyone lived in the real world. Life back then was more exciting, more vibrant, more real. Back then I interacted with real live people standing in front of me instead of mysterious cyber identities. My social network then was much bigger than it is now and it was real. I was constantly engaged in outdoor activities. I went to parties! I traveled back then, for crying out loud.
I don’t do much of any of that anymore. Instead, I am on the internet EVERY SINGLE DAY! I can’t remember the last time I went 3 whole weeks without the internet. I can’t even remember the last time I went 3 days without.
Am I also a junkie? I tell myself that it’s all a matter of moderation. But isn’t that what junkies tell themselves?
I’ve been imagining what it would be like to completely unplug like my friend is considering. I have to say that it is a pretty scary thought. But the more I think about it, the more I realize there is s kernel of excitement underneath the deep trepidation. I realize that the notion of unplugging is always there hidden in the recesses of my thoughts, much like the thought of quitting smoking is always in the back of smoker’s minds.
But then I remember back before the internet. Gosh, life was so exciting back then. And now that I’m so much older and supposedly wiser, life back in the real world would most assuredly only be even better. Right?
Anyway, that’s what I’ve been thinking about as I type away on my laptop ON THE INTERNET. I’m not ready to make the giant leap back into the real world but I sure am thinking about it. Meanwhile, I’ve got to finish up this little ramble because it’s almost time to go to work. I’ve got to earn money so I can keep paying for internet service.
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.
