A Christmas Present For My Noggin
And other important news and updates
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Yesterday I went to Wal-Mart. I’m not proud to say that but Wal-Mart is the only grocery store in this little podunk town in which I live. I’d rather not give what little money I have left to the richest family in the entire world but I was out of eggs, almost out of lemons and completely out of fresh organic parsley. What else was I supposed to do?
As everyone knows, Wal-Marts carry a lot more than just food — especially the big super Wal-Marts like the one in my backwater burg. But unlike so many of the shoppers there, I was not doing any Christmas shopping. I’ve already gotten gifts for the two GrandGirls. My Christmas shopping was almost completely done. I only intended to get the things on my budget-conscious shopping list and then get the hell out of there as quickly as I could.
(By the way, my shopping lists are hand-written on the back of a 3 by 5 index card. How low-tech is that?)
So there I was pushing my shopping cart through Wal-Freaking-Mart towards the grocery side of the store. Lo and behold, I suddenly and mysteriously found myself going down the bedding aisle. That’s right, the bedding aisle!
Looking back and forth at the shelves lining this aisle I realized that I had never been down this aisle before in the almost 8 years that I’ve been living in this hick-town on the prairie.
That’s when I remembered that I really, really needed a new pillow. I’ve been meaning to buy one for over a year. My current pillow was looking more and more like a pancake with each month. So I stopped and looked over all the pillows that Wally World had to offer.
Did you know that Wal-Mart sells a high-tech pillow for sixty bucks? Sixty freaking bucks! Did I go into a coma the last time I bought a pillow and not come out of that coma for a hundred years? I bought a car once for less than that. Sixty dollars?
And that is when the left half of my brain started talking to me, “White Feather, you stupid ignorant dolt! Remember your current employment situation and remember that you’re on a very strict budget. You can’t afford a 60 dollar pillow. You can’t even afford a 6 dollar pillow. What are you thinking?”
